A year ago today...

In August of 2013, the love of my life, my best friend, my rock, my other half, deployed overseas. He came home safely on June 22, 2014.

Those 10 months (305 days, to be exact) were the most challenging months he and I have ever endured. Those 10 months were full of loneliness, intense longing, sadness, fear, anger, worry, and many sleepless nights.  They developed an intense attachment to my phone.  Phone calls were rare, so we relied heavily on emails and Facebook messages (THANK GOD for technology!) If a place didn’t have Wi-Fi or 4G, then forget it, I wasn’t going.  I became that girl.  I didn’t care, though. I never wanted to miss a message, an email, or a call from my love. I never wanted him to send a Facebook message and to not get one in return from me.  Communicating with J became my priority. 

It is important for me to note, though, that his deployment did not stop me from living.  Yes, I was sad.  Yes, I missed him more than I thought humanly possible.  But I refused to sit around and mope for those 10 months.  Don’t get me wrong, days where I sat around all day and drank wine did happen. Weeks occurred where I cried myself to sleep every single night.  But overall, I lived. I did my best to make the most out of this experience and to try and make the best of it for J.  I decorated and sent elaborate care packages (I may have gone overboard), I sent him recorded videos of myself telling him I loved him.  I even sent selfies. 

Today marks one year since my love returned home safely! To this day, his homecoming remains as one of the best days of my life! Today, J and I were able to reflect back on that day and what it was like for the both of us.  We both can't believe a year has passed already! His homecoming feels like a lifetime ago, but at the same time, it also feels like yesterday.

Today, I am beyond grateful that my love is home with me and that we are starting this new journey together.  But I am also grateful for his deployment--we are the couple we are because of that experience. 

Here are a few pictures from J's homecoming! Enjoy!

 

Seeing the bus turn the corner!

 

Waiting for them to depart!

 

Nothing compares to this hug.

 

Our first kiss after 305 days!

We always ended our emails by saying, "I'll be seeing you soon", so I incorporated

that into his homecoming sign.

 

What Deployment Taught Me

Tomorrow marks 1 year since J returned home from a 10 month deployment! I can remember every detail of the days leading up to homecoming, and of course, every detail of his homecoming day.  A year later, and I still am unable to adequately describe in words what J's homecoming was like.  It is truly something that you can't, and won't, understand until you experience it yourself. 

Anyway, in honor of J's "homecoming anniversary", I decided to make a list of all of the things (good and bad) that deployment taught me.  Anybody who is dating/engaged/married to a military service member dreads the "D" word.  For the ones on the other side, for the person who is at home waiting (and worrying), deployment is rarely looked at as something positive.  When J first deployed, I was convinced that it was impossible for there to be anything even remotely positive about his deployment. 

After many months, many extensions, and many nights spent drinking wine and losing my mind, the love of my life finally returned home and it still remains, thus far, one of the best days of my life!  Now that J has been home for a year, I can (somewhat) rationally reflect back on the deployment experience.  Here is my list of some of the things that deployment taught me.

Deployment taught me...

That it is okay to be sad.

That it is also okay to be happy and have fun while your loved one is deployed.

That it is normal to feel guilty when you're enjoying life while your loved one is deployed...but you shouldn't feel guilty!

What the meaning of love, commitment, and support really means.

That I am stronger than I thought.

That I am more independent than I thought.

That making care packages is fun! And can get pricy...

That it's okay to stay in making care packages on a Friday night instead of going out to the bars with your friends.

That it's okay to replay your loved one's voicemails over and over again, so you can hear their voice.

That internet connection overseas is HORRIBLE.

What it's like to truly long for someone.

What it's like to worry yourself sick (literally).

What it's like to have sleepless nights.

What it feels like to miss your loved one being online by 5 minutes.

Just how strong the relationship is between you and your loved one.

That our love could do anything it wants (to quote the Notebook...)

That I am much more capable than I thought I was.

That it is okay to have days where you cry, mope around, and ignore humankind (as long as it's not every day). 


What would you add to the list?