What Deployment Taught Me

Tomorrow marks 1 year since J returned home from a 10 month deployment! I can remember every detail of the days leading up to homecoming, and of course, every detail of his homecoming day.  A year later, and I still am unable to adequately describe in words what J's homecoming was like.  It is truly something that you can't, and won't, understand until you experience it yourself. 

Anyway, in honor of J's "homecoming anniversary", I decided to make a list of all of the things (good and bad) that deployment taught me.  Anybody who is dating/engaged/married to a military service member dreads the "D" word.  For the ones on the other side, for the person who is at home waiting (and worrying), deployment is rarely looked at as something positive.  When J first deployed, I was convinced that it was impossible for there to be anything even remotely positive about his deployment. 

After many months, many extensions, and many nights spent drinking wine and losing my mind, the love of my life finally returned home and it still remains, thus far, one of the best days of my life!  Now that J has been home for a year, I can (somewhat) rationally reflect back on the deployment experience.  Here is my list of some of the things that deployment taught me.

Deployment taught me...

That it is okay to be sad.

That it is also okay to be happy and have fun while your loved one is deployed.

That it is normal to feel guilty when you're enjoying life while your loved one is deployed...but you shouldn't feel guilty!

What the meaning of love, commitment, and support really means.

That I am stronger than I thought.

That I am more independent than I thought.

That making care packages is fun! And can get pricy...

That it's okay to stay in making care packages on a Friday night instead of going out to the bars with your friends.

That it's okay to replay your loved one's voicemails over and over again, so you can hear their voice.

That internet connection overseas is HORRIBLE.

What it's like to truly long for someone.

What it's like to worry yourself sick (literally).

What it's like to have sleepless nights.

What it feels like to miss your loved one being online by 5 minutes.

Just how strong the relationship is between you and your loved one.

That our love could do anything it wants (to quote the Notebook...)

That I am much more capable than I thought I was.

That it is okay to have days where you cry, mope around, and ignore humankind (as long as it's not every day). 


What would you add to the list?