A Whirlwind of a Year

I've been feeling fairly nostalgic all day today.  Maybe it's because I'm still having trouble adjusting to our new life in New Jersey, or maybe it's because I had an interview today as social worker who has their Master's degree (still blows my mind).  Whatever the reason, nostalgia, and a hint of sadness, crept up on me today. This past year has been a complete and total whirlwind, but it was one of the most transformative years of my life, thus far. 

At this time last year, I was in my second week of my advanced standing Masters of Social Work program at East Carolina University (Go Pirates!).  I was new to North Carolina--overwhelmed and constantly hot thanks to the humidity.  I was also alone, because J was still deployed.  Moving to a new area where I didn't know a soul was equally terrifying and freeing.  I was incredibly lonely and I longed for J, or to binge watch Gilmore Girls with my old college roommates.  I felt out of place and like an outsider. 

But at the same time, I was on an adventure.  In order to fill the silence, I would go for drives around the new town I was living in--I would just drive and drive, and make whatever turns I wanted to make.  I would wake up, step outside on my balcony, and think to myself, "I can't believe I'm waking up in North Carolina!"  I felt free--free to live a new life, free to explore, and free to create a new purpose for myself.  It was exciting. 

Yet, at the same time, I was sad.  Being in North Carolina constantly reminded me of J.  I was longing for him to be home, to be with me, to be safe.  Being there without him didn't feel quite right.  At the time, I felt like I was losing my mind.  We were entering the 10th month of his deployment, with still no homecoming date in sight (shortly after, we were given a date!).  I thought I was miserable there without him.  But now, looking back, I realize how much I thrived and grew.  Moving there alone forced me to be incredibly independent.  It forced me to step out of my comfort zone and create a family of my own--people who I now miss dearly. 

At the time, I felt like I was in hell. I was drowning in an advanced standing graduate program, alone.  But looking back,  I realize that I owe the person who I am today to that year.  I thrived there, was happy there (when J came home from deployment, especially), and grew into my own person there.  It is a year I will always look back on fondly.  I may be so bold to say that it was the best year of my life, thus far.

So, today, I was missing that year dearly. I even, surprisingly, miss the days spent in the classroom all day in the hot, humid North Carolina summer.  I will forever be grateful, and treasure, such a transformative time of my life.